An Unkindness of Standards

“What can you be kinder towards yourself for today?”

After climbing out of my best friends car, where I spent the entire ride home detailing my failures and personal defeat, I met a quote about kindness when I needed it most.

I have nothing to write about.

I haven’t read in three days.

I haven’t been training like I should.

I’m not inspired by my work.

I’m not in my field.

I can’t pay off my credit card this month.

I haven’t been on a real date in over a year.

I have a to-do list that keeps growing but all I want to do is sleep.

I’m not where I thought I would be.

I, like many, am in a constant battle with myself about all things I’m not doing, instead of celebrating myself for the things that I am.

Instead of being proud of the mountains I’ve conquered I berate myself over the roots that tripped me along the way.

No matter how insignificant or trivial.

Some days every decision I make is compared and contrasted with a prototype that doesn’t actually exist.

There is no version of me that has all the boxes ticked at all times and to believe that there is would be to refute humanism.

Not one person is exactly where they think they should be because there is no end point.

Perfection is a hoax.

The belief that perfection is attainable is delivering an unkindness that impairs us.

Life isn’t a series of linear wins that concludes in success, happiness, or wealth of different magnitudes.

It’s uneven sidewalk.

It’s racking up interest on your credit card.

It’s DM-ing your ex when you’re fifteen beers deep and your cowboy boots are beginning to hurt.

It’s painting your entire condo only to lean your lotion-lathered body up against a wall and have to repaint all over again.

It’s a mess.

Imperfect.

But for every failure there is an equal and opposite success waiting to be spoken about.

Little wins that prove that you’re doing okay even if you have nothing to write about and haven’t read in three days.

Because whether it’s having dinner in the oven, the electricity bill paid, or the energy to go for a morning run – it’s forward momentum.

It’s ticking the boxes in the order that they are meant to be ticked in – even if some need to be un-ticked along the way.

It’s a constant reminder that not one person is exactly where they think they should be because there is no end point.

But being kinder to yourself will likely help you edge towards it faster.