Spark Notes: Self-Love

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you”

Though written on self-respect and empowerment, I think this speaks volumes to the idea of self-love.

In my experience with shrinking myself to appease the people around me, I’ve lost love for myself and settled for less than I deserve.

By softening the edges of my strength, intellect, wit, and ability in order to make those around me feel stronger, smarter, wittier, and more able, I have put myself in a box where people are allowed to make me feel weak, stupid, dull, and unable.

No one forced me into that box. I got in and closed the lid willingly.

By staying silent in fear of saying something (or being someone) that unnerves someone else we devalue our own experience and end up changing exactly who it is we are.

We breed our own insecurity.

And at the end of the day we cater to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So let this act as a public service announcement.

You are allowed to ask, nay demand, to be treated the way you deserve. You are entitled to respect, integrity, and honesty no matter what the context.

You are allowed to ask for a love that feels like the plot line of a worn out DVD. You are allowed to ask for friendships that are unassuming and safe. You are allowed to ask for camaraderie that leaves you satisfied at every turn.

You’re allowed to say no to the things that don’t support your journey.

You’re allowed to wear what you want, say what you think, and go where your heart wants you to wander.

And if it unsettles someone else because they are unable to provide that for themselves, fuck it.

You are a product of your own design and to shrink yourself in order to make someone else who is stuck in his or her own cycle of shrinking feel taller is the death of not only self-respect and empowerment, but self-love.

It is an absolute necessity that we find love for ourselves too.

So be tall.

Be bold, loud, educated, strong, and kind.

Be tall so that those around you can find the courage to be tall too.